Aiva spent the evening with friends tonight and had a blast! Apparently, some lessons are starting to sink in. She went outside and told our friend, “You must hold my hand.” That’s a total Mom-ism. But hey- she gets it. She wore herself out playing outside, and that is just the way she likes it. But as for why she is Josh made over…
She is just so stinking happy. She is quite fun-loving and free-spirited, but at the same time, she will listen and- for a 2-year old- act pretty appropriately. Josh never meets a stranger and can make friends wherever he goes. I think Aiva has definitely inherited that quality from her Daddy. I take a while to warm up, but Josh will be your friend in about 5 minutes. She laughs whenever she feels like it. Again, Daddy. I am not much of a “laugher,” and I hope that Aiva always is. Even in the car, I find myself trying not to laugh and am slowly figuring out that it is ok to crack up at a kid who is truly hilarious when she feigns surprise with a dramatic gasp as another car passes us.
And I have to say, it makes a Mom pretty proud when another Mom can truly compliment a kid on being kind and funny. I have to give Josh a lot of credit for that one.
Okay, okay. I have lots of friends. I am a blessed girl. However, I need a friend with a purpose. I am determined to make my life a touch more organized, and closer to the way I envisioned my “grown-up” life to be. One of these desires is quite simple. I want to plan my family’s menu for the week. Sounds very simple, but in truth, it is a very difficult task for me. Between work for me, work for my husband, after-school things and life in general, my best laid plans seem to always turn into nothing. So, I need a friend who already plans a family menu, or is interested in doing so. And make me do it, too. I also need a serious gym partner if someone is interested in that friend role. Just let me know. 🙂
Lately, I have been filled with a desire to have “big faith.” I often feel that, though my faith is grounded in truth I have known nearly my whole life, it is a very small faith. I do not like to talk about it; at least not really talk about it and how it affects my everyday. Lately, though, there has been this voice telling me to believe big. Friday night I figured out that it was not me, talking to myself. Instead, it was my God, finally getting through my not-so-good-at-listening-to-God brain.
You see, I am quite independent. Quite proud of being independent, and quite confident in my ability to take care of most things. Well, well, to my surprise, God is louder than I am. For months, my husband has been working hard to be a strong, Godly leader of our family, and I think I have resisted even that change in him. It means a change in me, and I wasn’t sure that it was one that I wanted to make. But lately, I have been told to believe big. So, one step for me is to trust my husband and his leadership role in our family.
I am excited to see what this actually means for me. As a wife, a mom, a teacher, a friend. I just don’t know. I think I am most excited about the wife and mom part. I pour so much of myself into Aiva and home, that I just can’t believe that there isn’t a bigger plan that I haven’t listened to yet. So anyway, that’s my brain for today.
All the time, I am amazed by Aiva! She continued her streak this weekend. She has been quite chatty for a while, but she has just exploded in the last week. In the car, she talks to us about what has happened, she asks us questions about EVERYTHING and she just doesn’t stop! All of this just makes me eternally grateful for the blessing that is Aiva.
Josh and I always talk about how she is not what we envisioned on the day that I told him she was on her way. I am not sure what I expected, but she has absolutely exceeded my wildest dreams. She is smart, she is sassy, she is funny, she is kind, she is loving…and she is 2. Which doesn’t come without its own set of challenges. She is starting to tell us no, refuse to move when we ask her to, and sometimes just do the opposite of what is requested and expected of her. I secretly like these things about Aiva.
She makes me think. She makes me consider what is the best choice. She makes me stop and think before I react. Every choice we make for Aiva right now teaches her something about something. She learns something about herself, she learns something about her Mom and Dad, and she learns something about expectations. Now, some people might think I am crazy for believing that she is learning about lifelong expectations at 2, but she is. And I am so honored to be one of those showing her the way.
This morning, I was blessed beyond my imagination- by a 2 year old. Yep, Aiva was at it again. I sing in the praise band at our church, and Aiva was with me for the warm-up today because Josh was at work. As we were warming up Glory to God, I looked up to see Aiva singing along! Sure, she knows a handful of other songs, and we sing together all the time. Jingle Bells, ABC’s and Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star are her favorites lately. But, there is nothing like catching a 2-year old in the act of praise. Does she know exactly what she was singing about? Nope. Not yet. I hope that I never forget the moment she began praising Christ! Maybe more importantly in her young life, I hope that I never forget that she is always watching and always listening for Josh and I to show her the way.
Well, the other day I was having a crisis of identity (as I often do) and decided that if-maybe- I put my thoughts, ideas and opinions out there, I might find myself along the way. So…here I am. I am 30. That was an entire crisis in itself, and maybe a topic for another day. I am a wife. I am a mom. I am a 2nd grade teacher. I am a student. I am a reader. I am an eternal pessimist. It’s true- just ask my husband. He, however, is an eternal optimist. I have to say that sometimes that gets on my nerves more than just about anything else. And at other times, I think it is the only thing that saves me from myself and my pessimistic ways. I am not sure why I tend to see the negative long before I see the positive. For this reason, I have been working especially hard lately to notice the things in my life that I am grateful for. I had a friend in college who noticed absolutely everything about life, and he found beauty in everything. I think it’s time that I try to do the same.